In a star-studded event at the President’s official mansion yesterday, President Gertler thanked Justice Oliver Cromwell for his recently completed report on Divestment from Fossil Fuels. “My goal was to ensure a fair, impartial and independent report conducted by a widely respected figure who was entirely at arm’s length from the University,” said Gertler. “My old friend, Justice Oliver “Ollie” Cromwell, generated a comprehensive narrative and authoritative review of the facts, leading him to reach important findings and recommendations.”

            In his 77-page report, Mr. Cromwell concluded that, having reviewed all the evidence, he would not draw the inference that investing in fossil fuel companies played any role in the environmental devastation caused by the burning of fossil fuels. The decision to divest from fossil fuel companies was, in his view, not justified. He did, however, highlight the evident production of CO2 emissions from the burning of fossil fuels and the destructive effect such emissions are continuing to have on the planet. He also questioned the appropriateness of the University of Toronto investing millions of dollars in the fossil fuel industry while claiming to be deeply concerned about the climate crisis and its effects on poor and marginalized people across the globe. Nevertheless, he concluded that the University’s dependence on donations from individuals and organizations involved in the exploration for and extraction of fossil fuels did not influence the decision to continue investing in the industry. Accepting the report on behalf of Governing Council, President Gertler toasted Justice Cromwell and led the assembled members of council in a rousing chorus of “For he’s a jolly good fellow!” “My conclusion,” said Gertler, “is that this process was impartial and thorough, and that Ollie’s conclusions are clear and compelling.” 

            In a statement released after the event, President Gertler announced that “The University has accepted all of Mr. Cromwell’s recommendations, including the need to strengthen confidentiality in investment reporting and to develop explicit policies or protocols on how to handle any inquiries made by members of the U of T community regarding the investment process.” The President also asked the Provost, the Chief Financial Officer and the CEO of ExxonMobil (Canada) to co-chair a committee comprised of themselves and a colleague from across the University to make recommendations on appropriate forms of protection for investment management staff whose positions may involve taking on controversial or unpopular causes. “A decision by radical environmentalists to impose divestment on the University of Toronto,” said Gertler, “would undermine the vital process of actively engaging with our transnational oil and gas company buddies. It would also needlessly and inappropriately bring harm to the University.” Asked to clarify who he meant by “the University,” Gertler stared aimlessly into space.